I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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