the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
