Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
