gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
