You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
