ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
