So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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