How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
