I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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