just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
