Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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