Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Randomize
