I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
