...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
