a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
and she was petting her beer can
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
