girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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