Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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