How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
