I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
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