Do you still have your period?
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I love having hate sex.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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