I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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