Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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