we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
