did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
