woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
