OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
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