Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Randomize
