I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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