it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
