I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
