Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Sober January is a disaster.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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