Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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