this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
