I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
