People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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