what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
