Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
