You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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