Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Randomize
