Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
