The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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