tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
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