were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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