So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize