Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize
