I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
