he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
