We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
