My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
