i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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