The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
