I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
