i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
