and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
