He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
