Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
