Where is the hickey?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
