Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
it's great music for shaving your balls
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
