This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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